You read about it, you see it on TV, but no girl every dreams that she will be the one. Everything was so perfect in the beginning, he was so sweet, so cute, and so crazy about me.
I don't know how it happened, but 11 years and three kids later, I am an abused wife. My name is Leslie, and these are my stories.
I am a Christian woman, and I have the Word of God to get me through the times when I feel like I can't go on any more. I can always find hope in the arms of our Father. I know that the Lord will comfort me when my husband tells me that I am useless. That the Lord will come to my rescue when Michael calls me a stupid bi@*h. When my husband is screaming in my face and I am so scared, I know that the Lord Jesus is there, right by my side. Even though I know the word of God, it can be difficult to find the good in so much fear and sadness. I just need to remember to look.
5 I cried out to You, O LORD:
I said, “You are my refuge,
My portion in the land of the living.
6 Attend to my cry,
For I am brought very low;
Deliver me from my persecutors,
For they are stronger than I.
7 Bring my soul out of prison,
That I may praise Your name;
The righteous shall surround me,
For You shall deal bountifully with me.”
~Psalm 142:5-7
That is my solace. The lord will deliver me from my prison, and deal bountifully with me. I am His, and I am loved.
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Leslie,my heart is grieving for you!! My eyes are filled with tears right now. Take comfort in knowing, you are NOT ALONE! I know how it feels to be called those names. It hurts so deep. This is not God's will for us to be mis-treated this way. A marriage is a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church. Jesus loved it and laid down his life for his church. Our husbands should treat their wives as their own bodies! I too have been married for 11 years but with one child. I have seperated from him twice. The second time I moved in with church members. I would love to share our stories with each other. I have been a christian since i was 15. (I recieved Jesus as my Savior in 1995.) I got married when i was 18 and very suddenly at the court house against my parents wishes. He was a deacon at my church and 32 yrs. old. No one at our church and our pastor saw this as a good choice and I wanted out of my parents abuse household. I realized very quick that I made a mistake and I didn't get to know him and now I was ashamed of myself. I felt I deserved everything I got from him, from yelling, cussing, tearing up my clothes, breaking my things on dresser, being spit on, pushed around, blocking the door so i couldn't leave, rules and more rules to keep me in the house cut off from the world literally. I thought if I just love him more and try to anticipate what he wants me to do then I can "win" him over and make him happy. Nothing ever really changed him. I have suffered a great loss in all these years. I feel I have wasted my 20's. Supposed to be a great time of life right? Anyway, I am sharing this with you so you will feel understood and respected and not alone. Thank you for posting your blogs. I think it is a great idea. Your not doing anything wrong by it and I send you my love and prayers. Sincerely, Susan
ReplyDeleteThank you, Susan.
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