Are you an idiot?

I am. At least according to my husband, I am. Funny, I used to think I was pretty smart. I was a great student, graduated in the top 10% of my class. I was given my pick of any job in the Navy because i scored so high on the ASVAB (armed services vocational aptitude battery) I have done very well at everything I every wanted to do. The only thing I can't seem to do, is please my husband, the man who is supposed to love me, "for better or for worse". Remember when your husband said that? I do. He stood before God himself and promised to love me, honor me, and CHERISH me, until we are parted by death. I don't think that my annoying him gets him out of that promise.
Marriage is an institution designed by God, in order to further His kingdom. My husband has never taken that seriously. I have never been cherished, never been honored. Sometimes I wish so much that I was what he wanted. I wish that I could make him happy. I spend every waking moment trying to love, honor and cherish the man I married. Somehow it is still not enough. I don't know what else to do.

I ran out of soda (language)

Are you having a bad day? I don't understand how anybody could get upset about soda. Was it really worth making me feel bad? I could have given you the money for a big gulp. But I don't think that was the issue, was it? I'm am easy target. You take all your anger out on me, the person who loves you more than anyone else in the world, because it's easy for you.
How many more years do you plan to make me to sit back and let you make me feel like I am worthless? It's funny, because a few years ago, I would have told you to screw off, but now, you have drilled that in to my head so deeply, that I believe you. I don't see my worth anymore. All I see in myself is a fat ass useless bitch. Is that what you were looking to do? If so, congrats.

Hurt

I don't know of any scripture to go with my post today. I am just hurting. Today, my husband told me that he is becoming detached. He doesn't feel like a part of our family any more. That is my failure as his wife. It is my responsibility to provide a good home for him, regardless of how he treats me. That is what the proverbs 31 woman tells us. I have failed my husband. I am feeling so sorry for myself that it is hard to breathe. All I want is to feel like he loves me. That's all I've ever wanted.

Sorry, but that's all I have right now.

I love you so much, you useless b$@ch.

Which is it? Does he love me so much, or am I useless to him? I don't know about you, but the hardest part for me is the constant back and forth. One minute I am special and feel so wonderful about our marriage, and the next, I am squashed under an angry foot. I feel as though I cannot do the right thing in any situation. Do you feel the same?
Where I was emotionally when I met him, seems a world from where I am now. I was strong. I was confident and driven. Today, I have been made to feel inadequate for so many years, that I'm not sure any more whether or not I am. There is one thing I do know, though. I know that I am a child of God. I know that it is not pleasing to the Lord for my husband to treat me the way he does. However, that does not give me cause to mistreat him.
the lesson in my ladies Sunday school class today was about submitting to our husbands. We are to submit in EVERY situation. Even the ones that we disagree with.

Ephesians 5:21-24

²¹Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²²Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

So there you have it. But why in the world would we listen to and support a man that is continuously disregarding us and going out of his way to make us hurt? Well, the Word of God has something to say about that, too. We can win our husbands to the Lord by our actions. Our actions can be the saving grace of our marriages, and our husbands souls!! What a great responsibility God has bestowed on us! We are given the opportunity to be living example of Christ's love in our homes.

1 Peter 3:1-2

¹Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, ²when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.


That is a tremendous gift. Every man, no matter how cruel, or how callus, deserves the opportunity to feel the love of God. This, and this alone, is what will turn our lives around. With God's help, we can feel the genuine love of Christ through our husbands every day. It is just a matter of waiting on His time. Don't give up girls!! We are worth it, and so are our husbands.